Archive for the ‘Aqeef Afwan’ Category

Isteri berdikari suami tidak hilang maruah diri

Suami saya, arwah abahnya meninggal dunia ketika dia berusia 5 tahun, waktu itu adik bongsunya cuma berusia beberapa hari. Kemudian mereka dibesarkan oleh seorang emak yang tabah dan hebat.

Kita seringkali disogok dengan cerita bahawa orang lelaki suka sekiranya wanita bergantung pada dia. Namun jika lelaki tersebut insaf dan sedar bahawa dunia ini pinjaman, dirinya pinjaman kepada isteri, isteri dan anak-anak pinjaman kepada dia, dia akan memberi ruang yang sepatutnya kepada isteri dan anak-anak untuk meningkatkan kualiti diri supaya dapat berdikari tanpa sedikitpun merasa bahawa keberdikarian mereka akan merendahkan egonya sebagai suami dan bapa. Kerana sudah termaktub adat meminjam, sampai masa akan diambil semula. Jika ditakdirkan tempoh pinjamannya tamat lebih awal, sekurang-kurangnya isteri dan anak-anaknya tahu apa yang perlu dilakukan demi kelangsungan hidup.

Kaum wanita pula, sentiasalah berazam untuk memperbaiki kualiti dan kemahiran diri, jika kurang menyerlah dalam pelajaran, mungkin boleh mencuba bidang masakan, jahitan, jualan dll. Memang suami tempat bergantung, tapi selitkan juga ruang untuk mempersiapkan diri menghadapi kemungkinan-kemungkinan tidak terduga. Senangkan hati suami dengan membuktikan bahawa kita boleh berdikari sekiranya dia diambil lebih awal. Tidaklah hatinya risau sehingga dia lupa tentang pinjaman nyawa yang Allah beri dan menganggap dirinya hak milik, penyara dan penanggung mutlak isteri dan anak-anaknya.

Jika suami sekadar menjalankan urusan menyara dan menyediakan kelengkapan keluarga sebagai tugasan wajib tanpa nilai ibadah, rumah tangga akan jadi kehidupan yang hambar. Keluar pagi balik petang yang diulang hari demi hari sampai mati. Para isteri jika bangun pagi cuma berazam untuk shopping besar-besaran duit suami segeralah muhasabah diri. Juga wanita bujang yang tergetnya cuma untuk mengahwini lelaki kaya supaya kelak boleh hidup senang goyang kaki, istighfarlah. Ini bermakna hidup sudah sedikit lari daripada tujuan asal yang Allah cipta.

Sentiasalah mulakan setiap hari baru yang Allah masih berikan nikmat hidup dengan pemikiran dan perbuatan yang menjangkau akhirat, bukan sekadar untuk hidup dunia semata-mata.

My kids and I

If I didn’t have you,
life would be blue
I’d be Doctor Who without the TARDIS
A candle without a wick,
a Watson without a Crick
I’d be one of my outfits without a kick-ey

I’d be cheese without the mac,
Steve Jobs without the Wozniak
I’d be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator, making it much harder to crack

I’d be an atom without a bomb,
a dot without the com
And I’d probably still live with my mom

Ever since I met you, you’ve turned my world around
You’ve supported all my dreams and all my hopes
You’re like Uranium-235 and I’m Uranium-238,
Almost inseparable isotopes

I couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get
From the moment that I met you, my kids

If I didn’t have you,
life would be dreary
I’d be string theory without any string
I’d be binary code without a one,
A cathode ray tube without an electron gun

Ever since I met you,
you’ve turned my world around
You’re my best friends and my lovers
We’re like changing electric and magnetic fields you can’t have one, without the other

I couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get
From the moment that I met you, my kids :)

Just because

Someone close to me asked, why this recently I become open to tell about my childhood life, why only now do people get to know how poor I was when I was younger.Well I guess the addition to my age is the answer. I am not embarrassed anymore to tell people how poor I was. Beside, my siblings are all grown up now, and we work, we can give money to our parents, if it’s not that much but still every month, one or two or three or all of us, give some money to our parents. My mum had already left telekom on 2007, she opted to the early retirement scheme. My dad will be retired this next September. From 30+ years of service in GLC and government sector, they have quite a satiate achievement. They bought a 3 rooms terrace house which later on 2011 was converted into a 5 rooms double storey house following a 4 months renovation. This is the house they raise all of us their 8 children. They managed to do 5 wedding ceremonies for their children, even once on 2011, they did 2 of the wedding in two consecutive months, for my first sister and second sister. Now I have another two sisters (twin) and a younger brother that are not yet married. My mum and dad are one happy couple, they love each other and all the difficulties they endured to raised their children, all the hardship, the embarrassment, the necessity to borrow money and things from others when we were small just make their love grow stronger.

There actually so many sad stories I had when I was a kid but I think these all for now. Maybe in certain future I will tell, but you sure don’t want to read them bulkily don’t you?

Abang forced me to buy new bag as my PUMA backpack has worn out. I took about 3 weeks to decide and finally gathered some strength to buy a handbag online. Abang suggested that I buy a branded one,as it will last longer but then when he found out that I bought a £6 handbag online he just able to shake his head. I am a bit tight about that. If I am about to buy something expensive for myself I spend some times battling with my own thoughts,thinking about how many things I can buy for my children with that much money and ended up buying things for my children and forgetting about my intention to buy anything for me. You know, just because….

Got to go Aminah kind of climbing on me. And now she’s literally sitting on my stomach. Bye

Things to tell.

When I open this blog, I just hovering around, dont really know what to do. There are indeed so many things to be told, but yet i still want to confine them to myself. For umpteenth times, I type type and type and delete delete delete. Things are better to be kept to myself, secretly I guess.

I have an obsession now, of The Big Bang Theory. I watch each episode again and again, up to the level that I already remember some complicated dialogue of course said by Dr Sheldon Cooper. It’s not the idea of big bang theory (by Charles Darwin) itself that I am fan of, definitely not and I can say that I am 100% not agree with that, but this TV series really gets my attention. Every Thursday night, I cook dinner as soon as possible so that when abang arrive home by 8.30 o’clock we can eat and watch the brand new episode together.

I am really a fan of car boot sale. You know, there was a month in last summer that I went to the second biggest carboot sale for every weekend of the months, without missed! I didnt have any intention to search for anything, specifically, but man once you enter the field, everything even an old rusty kettle look tempted ;) . Unfortunately everything has an end, so does the carboot sale. It is closed now along the winter and will be opened again next month, yeay. But not to worry I found few other smaller places with the same orientation where I can spend hours wondering around, and the best thing about them are, all are for BABY and kids, which I am a big fan. Like today I spend £50 buying some books and toys for kids at a baby jumbo sale near Clapham Junction. Last week I spent £60 buying books shoes and toys for kids at another baby nearly new sale at Wimbledon. I guess I am just lucky because abang is very supportive about this. I did explained to him about how many children books we can get with £10 at say, WH Smith and the multiplied of them we can get from the jumbo sale with the same amount of money. It is 5 times more, and all the books are in decent condition some are even new or I guess hardly read. So abang without any objection trying to make up some times for his wife and children to go to surveyed jumbo or nearly new sale on the weekend.

Abang plays football every week now, during the time which I consider all for him. Sometimes I feel terrible as I do notice he doesnt get enough time for himself. Aminah is one super active girl. She loves to cling on her daddy, and play with whatever thing people do. She is a copy cat, a follower and very loud. There was once when I saw Aqeef cover his ears with his hands while Aminah was screaming. Sometimes he just get too annoyed with Aminah. But most of the times they make a best friend. Aqeef is a very protective little boy. When I bring him to playground he will be busy keeping Aminah safe instead of playing. He is also very judgemental, be careful with him ;) His teacher told me that he never want to eat any food serve at his school during snack time apart from what I supplied him with. Before Christmas holiday started, his school organised a Christmas party. Parents were invited. I peeked through window and saw the kids were sat around the table for feast. Despite other kids that enjoy eating together Aqeef was very suspicious of the food given to him. He checked everything, and only ate a bite before surrendered. I think taking food from people other than me and abang is just too extreme for him.

I am still overwhelm with my sewing project. Will update about it later. Abang got me an overlocker machine as Aminah’s birthday present. It is a secondhand Singer, but still in a very good working condition, even came in original box and packaging together with manual. And the model is from 2011 so it is quite new. I dont know why the previous owner sold it. If it’s a house people will start to question is it haunted? Why sell it at a cheap price, merely brand new and hardly used. Luckily it’s just an overlocker. or maybe it is A haunted overlocker? Gosh I just went too far in my imagination.

I made a pact to myself since I dont know, like a week ago. I want to be a positive person. Hehe that actually pact that I renew every day, or perhaps every hour. But the thing is when you promise yourself to be positive, everything seems to be easier. Like seeing Aqeef and Aminah’s toys around the house. Looking at them negatively as another extra task to be completed is a burden, but if you see them positively, there you go – another exercise to keep mommy fit and healthy and nurture my children’s interest in learning and exploring new things.

I want to be a positive mommy. Fuh fuh fuh. And that’s all things to tell :)

You can choose, sayang

Aqeef used to be very fond of making friend, sometimes ago. I remember when we went to Green Park for a photography session on the first day of Eid last August when Aqeef kept chasing a girl and two Malaysian boys that older than him, who kept running from him while saying, “Let him chase us, don’t play with him”. Oh and don’t forget that very same morning at Malaysian Embassy during Eid Prayer, when Aqeef tried to make friend with two Malaysian boys that I guessed just arrived London (because they both still talking in Bahasa Malaysia). These two boys said, “Jangan kawan dia. Budak bodoh”.

That were the last things I can remember about Aqeef tried to make friend. Because soon after that ‘in a same day bitter experiences he had at embassy and Green Park’, he suddenly turned to a maturer little boy that doesn’t bother about making friend anymore. By soon, I mean really soon. Just few minutes after the event of chasing a girl and two boys that ran away from him happened, he decided that he doesn’t need that kind of ‘gedik’ friends in his life anymore. This little picture tells the story.

Still in his baju melayu, he decided to run and play all by himself. It was a tremendous fun in my heart actually. Honestly as a mum, I just couldn’t stand seeing my son being treated that way. But I know that kids, and their parents as well. At least one of them ‘inherited’ the habit from his parents. Who to blame?

Then times passes by. Aqeef recognises these faces that treat him badly, and he just doesn’t bother to be good to them anymore. He met them at few parties and didn’t play with them, met them several times while we were going out and never ever wanted to spend time with them.

It’s not that Aqeef has anti social behavior or anything because he has friends at school. There is a boy named Oli that treats Aqeef politely and very kind to him that Aqeef loves to play with. Then Leisya, Annabelle and some other. In my observation, Aqeef just couldn’t stand rudeness and he is easily irritated by gedikness, even in kids. And he just doesn’t like to be friend with kids that love to shout or play aggressively.

I am very keen with Aqeef’s decision to put certain qualities in his friendship valuation. That’s his right to choose. Just like mommy choose to stay indoor after finishing house chores rather than going ‘mokpeking’ or ‘mesyuarat tingkap’ around neighborhood.

You can choose sayang. You really can. Mommy absolutely has no problem with that.